Hods and mocking noses

In my inaugural post I made mention of my current occupation. I am a Hod- Carrier. A hod is a scoop device used long long ago to deliver masonry mortar to masons in the pursuing of their office. This tool has since fallen into obscurity and disuse. This does not prevent all masons from referring to their non-glorified go-fers as hod-carriers, regardless of whether or not they have ever seen a hod in their life. I have not ever seen one, but I apparently carry one on a regular basis nonetheless.

The chief duty of a Hod-carrier is to supply a mason with mortar (hereafter referred to as mud), brick, block, cultured stone, real stone, tools, tools, more tools, working and supply surfaces, scaffolding, a ready scapegoat, and a partridge in a pear tree. In return a hod carrier receives good pay, an increase in bicep size from a flabby 12 inches to a firm 16, and a nose that continually mocks him day in and day out.

Lemme splain. The most important duty of a hod-carrier is the providing of mud to the masons he is caring for. I am not a complete moron, but it took me nearly a month to understand what consistency my masons wanted their mud to be. There are a variety of tasks and applications that require mud. Brick, block, stucco coatings, and cultured stone all require different consistencies. Different masons prefer different consistencies within all of these applications, and ambient temperature changes affect how soon the mud will begin to firm up and become the wrong consistency. The result is the near impossibility of creating properly viscous and adhesive, yet manipulable (it's a word now) mud for each mason and application. My nose however seems to have no trouble with mixing the huge amount of mortar mix I inhale each day with precisely appropriate amounts of mucus to create rock hard and nearly inextricable cement creations within my nasal passages each day. Where did it learn to do that? Thus my nose mocks me, and I have no answer to its smugness. Suggestions would be appreciated.